The dirty windows with no curtains let in a stream of sunshine that fell directly on my eyelids at six a.m.
I looked around the bed for Joe. He was gone. I leaned over the bed and looked under it... shoe boxes, porn magazines, a rolled up pair of socks with dust all over them, a cat-toy mouse with one felt eye that sorta dangled, the other one missing.
Sitting up, I wondered if he'd gone to get coffee. But I could smell coffee. Looking around, I saw a coffee pot to the left of the small stove top, and the steam rose from it, dancing around in the drafts let in by the large window, shimmering from the sun's light. I got up and walked closer, and saw the mug Joe must have taken his first wake-up gulp from. Filling the sink with hot water and some dish soap, I embarked on cleaning the place up a bit.
Walking around Joe's place, waiting for him to return, picking up glasses, plates and forks along the way to add to my batch of dishes to be cleaned, I saw the envelope on the table, marked:
To: Renee, yes, you, the hooker in my bed
I chuckled and opened it. Inside was $60.oo along with a small note.
Dear Renee,
I had to leave for some errands. Won't be back until mid afternoon. I left an extra 20 for a cab so you can get home. Please feel free to steal anything you want in my house, but know the guys in the hall will not let you leave with my television or stereo. Thanks for last night.
Yours,
Joe
As I washed the dishes, I wondered what to do with all the clothes scattered about the place. Some seemed clean, others were dirty, and some it was very hard to tell. As I looked around while scrubbing a pan that had fossilized remnants of ravioli in it, I saw two large empty boxes and figured I'd just do my best to put the definite clean ones inside one box, and the definite dirty ones in the other.
I put on some music and my socks glided on Joe's linoleum floors. Reaching behind his fridge for the broom, I suddenly felt as if I was being watched.
"Meow," said the cat.
I jumped and said "AAAAAAAAAAHHHyikes!", startled by the cat, which seemed to almost smirk at me as I held onto the broom for dear life. "Do you need some food and water?" I said, and looked at the cat dishes near a door, and they were full and clean. "Nope, you don't, you're all set," I said and put the broom resting near the sink as I wiped the counters and table top before sweeping the room.
After about two hours, the place looked very nice, for a bachelor pad. I went to call a cab, satisfied with my surprise for Joe, but as I picked up the phone I noticed some shelving that had tons of books on it. Figuring I could just dust and organize those before I left, I put the phone down and got a facecloth and dampened it. As I headed towards the shelves, the phone rang. I stopped and looked at the phone, and then, I don't know why, I looked at the cat.
"Meow," said the cat.
"Well, I'm not answering it. Nobody knows I'm here," I said to the cat.
The cat licked its paw.
:::ring:::
"Doesn't Joe have an answering machine?" I asked the cat.
:::ring:::
The cat meowed again, and I wondered if maybe it was Joe calling to see if the hooker in his bed had left.
:::ring:::
I picked up the phone. The caller had hung up. Sitting in a chair at the table, I took a sip of tea I'd made with a teabag I'd found in Joe's silverware drawer. I rarely drank coffee, but I did like the smell it gave to the small place.
I put the facecloth on the kitchen counter, folded neatly, and called a cab. I figured that at some point fate would lead me back to Joe's space, and I'd clean his bookshelf then.
As I stood outside on the porch waiting for my cab, two old guys sat playing chess at one of the small tables. I watched as they played, so seriously, but with soft spoken jabs and eye rolls. As my cab pulled up, I said "Have a good day, gentlemen," and they looked up at me with smiles that bordered on a line somewhere between cordial and devious.
"You, too, young lady," said the gray haired one closest to the steps, and he gave me a little once over with his eyes.
"Thanks, I will," said the other one, as he took his opponent's rook.