The island was saturated by a rainstorm that seemed to be going around in circles. It would rain, then it would pause, rain some more, stop briefly, then rain again. Ed could see the storm over the ocean pull back over the land and retreat again. He wondered when the jet stream would push it out for good.
Throughout life he felt this same way. When would the storms just pass? When would the rain end? Should he himself just move out of the path of the cold dampness? If he were on the mainland, he could drive south, or north, east or west. But being on an island made it impossible to get away from the dark clouds, the thunder, the hostility of it all. He felt that way when he was younger and incapable of getting out of the way.
He'd kept himself somewhat dry on the island, but he did so by remaining in solitude, inside his small hut, his legs aching to go for a walk, his stomach hungry for anything but the wilted greens he ate for the past two days while the storm raged on.
He picked up a rock he'd found earlier in the week on the shore near a large, dead fish. Nestled in a small batch of rocks he'd collected over the months, it stood out in both color and shape. A perfect triangle, white with black speckles. It reminded him of her. Laying on his back, resting his head against the makeshift pillow of dried grasses and brushery, he ran his thumb and index finger along the smooth edges of the triangle rock and felt safe enough to think of her even though he'd promised himself he would never think of her again. Even though he knew the risks he took with remembering.
He was seventeen at the time, walking down the hallway at school at the end of the day. He'd spent the last hour in the library, reading from a book that wasn't allowed to be taken out of the school. He was the only student there, and the librarian looked almost frustrated with his desire to remain in the room with her. Most had already left the building, but a few rooms he passed by had a student or two talking to teachers, but the hallways were especially quiet. His sneakers made an irritating, cheap noise with every step he took. He almost wished more people were around him to drown out the sound of his own footsteps.
As he slowly walked by a storage room door, he heard footsteps inside that sounded like echoes of his own shoes. Pausing to put his ear against the door, he wasn't expecting what happened next. The door suddenly opened, whacking his ear slightly as he moved away, and an arm grabbed him and pulled him inside. He didn't even have time to yell as the door shut behind him.
A strong sense of darkness took over his eyes at first, but then from underneath the door, the lighting from the hallway outlined the figure standing before him. He knew it was a female, the faint odor of vanilla perfume tingled his nose and other senses he was doing his best to keep at bay. He could hear muffled music, coming from somewhere very softly in the closet. His eyes took in the white tshirt she wore, a large, black triangle on the front, with the anarchy symbol inside it in dangerous font and sharp white. Nervously, he looked into her eyes, right after his eyes took note that she was not wearing a bra.
Her eyes were a pale, light, color that looked eerie in the setting of this small enclosure. Her lips were in a calm, relaxed persistence and her hands took his hands and wrapped them around her waist. She then lifted small, thin headphones off her head and placed them upon his head and ears. His right ear, still hurting from the door whack, made him wince as she placed the piece over it so he could hear what she wanted him to hear. A song began playing from decades ago. He didn't recognize it, but he didn't care. It was beautiful.
I would climb any mountain
Sail across a stormy sea
If that's what it takes me, baby
To show how much you mean to me
And I guess it's just the woman in you
That brings out the man in me
(Oooooh) I know I can't help myself
(Oooooh) You're all in the world to me
It feels like the first time
Feels like the very first time
It feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
As her body swayed gently in his hands in the closet dance, he wondered if this was life's way of giving him hope for the future. He'd never danced before, but did not miss a beat or step on her feet, and the feel of it was almost instinctual. Her head leaned against his chest, his heart beating in both confusion and joy into her ear. He could feel her hands and fingertips as they went up his back, and he wasn't sure about the passion he was feeling, which almost felt corrupt. She didn't seem to share his sense of hesitation as she brought her lips to his and kissed him, first on the chin, then on the lips, and then into his mouth with her soft, candycane peppermint tasting tongue.
I have waited a lifetime
Spent my time so foolishly
But now that I've found you
Together we'll make history
(Oooooh) And I know it must be the woman in you
(Oooooh) That brings out the man in me
(Aaaaah) I know I can't help myself
(Aaaaah) You're all my eyes can see
And it feels like the first time, like it never I did before (ooh-ooh ooh-ooh oooh)
Feels like the first time, like we've opened up the door
Feels like the first time, like it never will again, never again
Ed hoped the movements of his sneakers weren't making the same sounds they did in the hallway. He wished the headphones were on her ears to hide his insecurities, although he then remembered that her sneakers were making the same exact sound. He held her a little firmer. Her body responded by getting closer to him, as her hands went to his cheeks and she planted a dozen kisses on his lips, nose and chin.
It feels like the first time, it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time, very, very, it feels
It feels like the first time, oh it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
Open up the door, won't you open up the door? Yeah
Feels like the first time
And it feels like the very first time
And it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
And it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
Oh it feels, it feels like the first time
Yeah it feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
He wondered who the band was singing into his ears, but he never got a chance to ask her that day. As the song ended, she took the headphones off his ears, opened up the closet door, kissed him once more on the cheek and walked out, shutting the door behind her as she left. Ed stood in the darkness quietly for a few minutes, leaning against the wall slightly, to help hold himself up.